Ugh but and also
My life has been exceptionally stupid lately. There were all the happenings I talked about in my two most recent posts and even more things since then.
I decided to do a little gratitude writing exercise for myself using a format I made up. Not in a toxic positivity way, but in a "if I continue to only think about the bad things I will probably turn into a black hole of misery" way. It doesn't cover every bad thing that's happened recently, but I stopped after doing three because I was already feeling noticeably lighter.
Since I found it helpful and liked what I ended up writing, I thought I'd share it here. Feel free to steal the "ugh but and also" format to try out for yourself, and let me know what you think of it!
UGH, my day job was only able to give me 7 hours per week of work this semester. And one of my composition/theory students quit and the other reduced their lesson frequency*, so I went from making ~$700/month from teaching to now making ~$200 per month from teaching.
BUT my day job only assigned me remote work this semester, and my music teaching is remote as well, so no commuting for me this summer!
AND I have a couple music jobs coming up for the first time since last year! Small projects, but very cool ones that I'm super excited to work on.
ALSO I've been reading Emily Lynn Paulson's book Hey Hun: Sales, Sisterhood, Supremacy, and the Other Lies Behind Multilevel Marketing. It's a really entertaining read, and it's making me really grateful that I never got sucked into an MLM. I like to think I'm smart enough that I never would have fallen for something like that, but honestly, I can see how it could have happened to me if my circumstances were different. So, you know, things could always be worse!
UGH, my little old lady kitty Ramona is having ongoing health issues. I'm really worried about her, and I think we're going to have a lot more vet bills in our future, after already paying a lot of vet bills for both cats already these past couple months.
BUT our vet is working really hard to figure out what's going on and is great about working with us to find solutions that are at least not mind-bogglingly expensive.
AND our other cat, Arlo, who we took in from the street about 2 months ago, is 100% healthy now. He was so sick when we found him that the vet wasn't sure if he would make survive, so this is such amazing news! All that's left to do for him is get him neutered, vaccinated, and microchipped, and there's a nonprofit in the city that will do all that for very cheap.
ALSO once Arlo is neutered we can finally start slowly letting him out of the room he's been staying in (my home studio) and get him and Ramona acclimated. He'll no longer be cooped up, Ramona can hang out in my studio again, and my husband and I will no longer have to worry about making sure we're fairly splitting our time between cat territories.
UGH, we keep getting sent hospital bills. Between this, vet bills, and my underemployment, I'm feeling so broke. Man, I hate this system.
BUT although I live in a country with an awful healthcare system, everyone in my life agrees that it's terrible. And although I'm underemployed, I don't have anyone telling me I just need to hustle harder. Basically I have a bunch of people rooting for me and sympathizing with my situation instead of judging me or trying to prosperity gospel themselves into thinking that any of this is somehow my fault.
AND summer in Chicago means a lot of free festivals and concerts, hanging out at the lakefront and parks, and participating in the library's summer reading program! Plus I enjoy an occasional cheap happy hour year-round, but now I can do that on cute patios. So I don't need a lot of money to enjoy myself.
ALSO I've been really digging the homebody lifestyle recently. I don't know if it's because of all the chaos I've been dealing with for the past few months, but regardless, my social battery has been running so low! If all this money bullshit had to happen, I guess it's better that it happened when I'm feeling hermity rather than during one my wanting to DO THINGS ALL THE TIME phases.
*I do want to make it clear that I'm not at all upset with either of them for this! Nobody is obligated to be my student, and I really want everyone who takes lessons with me to do it for whatever duration and frequency works best for them.